In literature on personal development, often a lot of emphasis lies on how 'bad' the ego is. I do not agree.
Sure, the egoic point of view is the main reason for all misery in the world, but is just a state of consiousness. It is nothing real. It is a trained point of view that is very limited. And fighting against it, only makes it stronger.
In the end the ego and your true self share a common interest: your happiness. The only difference is, the ego tries to achieve that through logic it has learned by observation of this world since it has been born. And since our world has a very limitit view on how to obtain happiness and abundance, so does your ego.
But again, this is nothing real. This is just a trained perspective on the world and it does not help to trie to get rid of it. I think we should talk with our ego. I think we should educate our ego as loving (and conscious) parents would educate their child: through calm and understanding conversation.
The great thing you can discover is that your ego is a great pointer to your own happiness, love and abundance.
Once you learn to work with concepts like abundance, eternity and hapiness, you see that you have to go to your inside for wisdom. Your mind will never tell you any truths on these subjects, as it draws conclusions based on what it observes: lack and limitation. Once you discover your inner guidance, your emotions, and you learn that your guide weather or not you are thinking in the direction of your desired creation, is your feeling good, your ego with it's negative perspective and consequently negative emotions, becomes just as good a guide as any other. When your ego tells you something and it feels bad, you know by the feeling alone, you just have to flip the thought around.
But flipping thoughts around is not so simple. Your ego is very persistent (law of attraction just keeps you feeding the same kind of thoughts). Abraham talks a lot about letting go through meditation these days (big fan by the way), but I think some good converstion with your ego can help you to really eliminate the thought once and for all.
Your ego usually tells you something negative, when it thinks that this is the way to 'get' something. In stead of fighting it, these days, I just agree with it. I agree about the 'thing' we want, but then ask my ego the question what by now it thinks what is the best way to get the think 'we' want. By now it KNOWS that a positive vibe is THE way to get what you want. And then I ask my ego: how does this thought feel you just offered me. It has to agree with me that it feels negative and thereby must create what we DON'T want. So then I ask my ego, what would be the 'right' way of putting it, so that our vibration shifts and we get what we really want. My ego then quickly goes on looking for the thought that will get us where we want to go.
And so you see, just like Jesus sais, you have to love your enemy, because he shows you the way and even becomes your best friend if you learn to talk with him.
Hope this makes some sence :-)
Love you all sweeties x
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
About Alpha Males and Gay Guys :-)
Last week was an amasing week for me again. For a time now, I have been working together with a great teacher-coach-colleague of mine, Inge Rock. Last week was the third edition of her Coaching Academy. Twenty people in progress of being a coach in one way or another, from personal coaching, to business, from childrens education, to coaching yourself. I myself give meditation training in the morning and teach here and there troughout the seminar. Being a coach on a seminar like that, people tend to put you on a pedestal. Not literally of course, but they seem to think that you are someone who has it all figured out and never has any 'problems' anymore.
Sure, we have quite some things figured out, otherwise we would not be able to help other people, and we don't call problems 'problems', but challenges, which puts them in a different perspective.
But we do fall, you can be sure of that! We are every bit as human as our clients and students. On the other hand it is also true, that the moment I start to fall, I also immediatly realise something beautifull is being born in that moment.
I would like to share with you one of my new 'children' that has been born in the last week.
During the first few days of the seminar, I felt quite shut down. Something was holding my energy back. I almost immediately realised what that reason was. A former superior of mine from a company I used to work for, was attending the seminar. Usually I am very open hearted on seminars like this, but now, every time I wanted to speak, I held back. When I was speaking directly to him, I even felt very uncomfortable.
Although my ego first wanted to blame him for my feeling uncomfortable, I -by now- always realise that my feelings are 'my' feelings, and that what I feel, is guided by my perspective. I even saw this duality in myself reflected in other attendees of the seminar. Some saw in him the 'intimidating power-businessman', others saw him as a sweet and sensitive man.
This situation came to a climax, when I had to coach one of the seminar attendees though the same issue I had with him. (obviously it was not an issue, it was what I was telling myself about him). She felt very intimidated by him - as did I. Through the coaching session we turned this around in her wanting to be more self-confident in his presence. The broather picture being: being self confident in the presence of very male energy in general
.
It was all so beautifully set up! She was 'by coincidence' set up with him as a pair to do trial coaching sessions. So she got a real life opportunity in that moment to experience and preactice her new insight. And she did! And she was so happy!
So now I was in a very funny situation: my client had 'released' a problem, I had helped her doing it, but I myself was still experiencing the 'issue'.
So that evening, I did it. Although I normally would have sat down at the dinner table with a crowd I could have easy conversation with, I sat down right in front of him. And we started talking. General conversation actually, nothing special, but the great thing was my observation of myself. Every time my ego got me a little bit nervous, I told myself to relax and focus on the new image I had made of him. By then I had realised, I was still holding an old image of him in my mind from years ago. And I let go of that. And I chose to see the sweet and gentle version of him. In the end we hugged :-)
This story has thought me so much! It has helped my being more open and loving towards my own father, who -for my whole life- I have had this same uncomfortable feeling with.
I am a very Yin energy in a male body and I have always felt great intimidation with strong Yang energy. The funny thing is, that I only notice this on very rare occasions, as I usually do not attract this energy. I tend to ignore the Alpha Males :-)
But I am so glad I was able to raise my selfconfidence in this situation, to see that this is just an energy 'different' from mine, but not at all 'threatening'. Unless you act like you are being threatened.
Last night we had a family dinner for my brothers birthday.
And for the first time of my life I patted my father on the shoulder.
And meant it.
How's that for transformation :-)
I whish you all great mirrors in the people you meet,
And strong knowing that the way you feel, is the way 'you' feel,
And that you can change that,
Anytime you want.
Love you all sweet people!
Sure, we have quite some things figured out, otherwise we would not be able to help other people, and we don't call problems 'problems', but challenges, which puts them in a different perspective.
But we do fall, you can be sure of that! We are every bit as human as our clients and students. On the other hand it is also true, that the moment I start to fall, I also immediatly realise something beautifull is being born in that moment.
I would like to share with you one of my new 'children' that has been born in the last week.
During the first few days of the seminar, I felt quite shut down. Something was holding my energy back. I almost immediately realised what that reason was. A former superior of mine from a company I used to work for, was attending the seminar. Usually I am very open hearted on seminars like this, but now, every time I wanted to speak, I held back. When I was speaking directly to him, I even felt very uncomfortable.
Although my ego first wanted to blame him for my feeling uncomfortable, I -by now- always realise that my feelings are 'my' feelings, and that what I feel, is guided by my perspective. I even saw this duality in myself reflected in other attendees of the seminar. Some saw in him the 'intimidating power-businessman', others saw him as a sweet and sensitive man.
This situation came to a climax, when I had to coach one of the seminar attendees though the same issue I had with him. (obviously it was not an issue, it was what I was telling myself about him). She felt very intimidated by him - as did I. Through the coaching session we turned this around in her wanting to be more self-confident in his presence. The broather picture being: being self confident in the presence of very male energy in general
.
It was all so beautifully set up! She was 'by coincidence' set up with him as a pair to do trial coaching sessions. So she got a real life opportunity in that moment to experience and preactice her new insight. And she did! And she was so happy!
So now I was in a very funny situation: my client had 'released' a problem, I had helped her doing it, but I myself was still experiencing the 'issue'.
So that evening, I did it. Although I normally would have sat down at the dinner table with a crowd I could have easy conversation with, I sat down right in front of him. And we started talking. General conversation actually, nothing special, but the great thing was my observation of myself. Every time my ego got me a little bit nervous, I told myself to relax and focus on the new image I had made of him. By then I had realised, I was still holding an old image of him in my mind from years ago. And I let go of that. And I chose to see the sweet and gentle version of him. In the end we hugged :-)
This story has thought me so much! It has helped my being more open and loving towards my own father, who -for my whole life- I have had this same uncomfortable feeling with.
I am a very Yin energy in a male body and I have always felt great intimidation with strong Yang energy. The funny thing is, that I only notice this on very rare occasions, as I usually do not attract this energy. I tend to ignore the Alpha Males :-)
But I am so glad I was able to raise my selfconfidence in this situation, to see that this is just an energy 'different' from mine, but not at all 'threatening'. Unless you act like you are being threatened.
Last night we had a family dinner for my brothers birthday.
And for the first time of my life I patted my father on the shoulder.
And meant it.
How's that for transformation :-)
I whish you all great mirrors in the people you meet,
And strong knowing that the way you feel, is the way 'you' feel,
And that you can change that,
Anytime you want.
Love you all sweet people!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Don't pull the grass in order to make it grow. Mow it where it is high.
When it takes me somewhat longer to write to you, dear reader, it means that I have been experiencing some contrast that forces me to understand something new or on a deeper level. Actually, the writing of this blog was part of the contrast.
Allow me to explain.
At this moment I have got quite some projects going on (as I am sure you do to). There is one thing all of these projects have in common and that is that they are in different stages of evolving and realisation.
Some are still visions for a near or far future, some are ready to get started, some are in startup and some are in full creation, which in my case often means in full chaos ;-)
The difficulty with my personality is, that I am great in visualising, in living the dream even before it has manifested, but that I am (or was, since these new insights :-) not that great at handling the fase between the creation in my head and the actual manifestation in real life.
For those who have been following me a bit, know that writing this blog and writing my first book has been one ot the newest ideas in startup. And as always when I get excited with a new idea, I want to get started and only focus on this new thing.
But logically, a lot of my other projects still ask for my attention. The renovation of our house ( and it is a full option renovation :-), the further building of my private practice, the seminars I am already holding.
And on the other hand, new visions of the future keep on being born in my mind. Ideas about investing in projects that serve humanity, thinking abut new school systems, and how I can help people who live their passion in arts, music and dance as those are the things that have enlightened my soul for my whole life.
So you see, in my head it is very busy. And I am sure many of you can relate to that. I have been fighting a lot against the fact for instance that I had to go paint the walls in our house in these last weeks, while I would have rather been writing this blog, write on my book or work on the next seminar I am going to give.
But the result of this fighting was, that a lot of times I did neither. I did not paint my walls because I thought I had to do something else. But the fighting against it put me in such a difficult mood, that I was not able to write either, let alone write something inspiring.
So the logical thing to do, would be to make a planning. But that has never really worked for me. I tried that all to often and I don't think I have ever been able to keep my own planning for more than 3,5 hours.
So finally, last week, it dawned to me. All the things that I had ever wanted (excluding the really new visions) have manifested or are in the proces of being manifested. And the only thing that has ever made them be slow in coming, has been my own resitance. And by experiencing this last period, I realised that I was resisting again. Even worse, I was resising realities that I had consciously chosen for. I do not have the excuse anymore that there are things in my life that I have created by hasard or unconsciously. No, not at all! I was resisting exactly that what I months (or years) before had so longed for and asked for.
Sure, I did not resist them now because I really did not want them anymore. I resisted them because of 'the new thing I thought I had to be doing at this moment'.
But that is always a floud premice! You cannot be doing anything else than the thing you are doing right now!
In my practice I learn people to make peace with where they are, but I have learned this lesson on a new level for myself again.
Everything in nature, in life, in the universe grows. The only thing we have to do is invision the things we want and allow them to manifest by not resisting.
And so in this last week I painted, and scrubbed, and carried bags filled with tiles, and vacuumed, ...
And it was so much fun! Working on I manifestation that I had so much longed for!
And even more fun because I new, giving in to this, would make my next vision manifest more easily.
And so it has. Because yesterday I was painting.
And this morning I felt inspired to write.
So I did.
Have a great day of enjoying your current manifestations and great fun in imagining your next greatest vision of yourself. The universe is so intelligent to give you exactely what you want at the right time, there is no reason to doubt that.
I do not plan anymore. I look. I feel. I do.
I wish you the same.
Big kiss,
Dietrich
Allow me to explain.
At this moment I have got quite some projects going on (as I am sure you do to). There is one thing all of these projects have in common and that is that they are in different stages of evolving and realisation.
Some are still visions for a near or far future, some are ready to get started, some are in startup and some are in full creation, which in my case often means in full chaos ;-)
The difficulty with my personality is, that I am great in visualising, in living the dream even before it has manifested, but that I am (or was, since these new insights :-) not that great at handling the fase between the creation in my head and the actual manifestation in real life.
For those who have been following me a bit, know that writing this blog and writing my first book has been one ot the newest ideas in startup. And as always when I get excited with a new idea, I want to get started and only focus on this new thing.
But logically, a lot of my other projects still ask for my attention. The renovation of our house ( and it is a full option renovation :-), the further building of my private practice, the seminars I am already holding.
And on the other hand, new visions of the future keep on being born in my mind. Ideas about investing in projects that serve humanity, thinking abut new school systems, and how I can help people who live their passion in arts, music and dance as those are the things that have enlightened my soul for my whole life.
So you see, in my head it is very busy. And I am sure many of you can relate to that. I have been fighting a lot against the fact for instance that I had to go paint the walls in our house in these last weeks, while I would have rather been writing this blog, write on my book or work on the next seminar I am going to give.
But the result of this fighting was, that a lot of times I did neither. I did not paint my walls because I thought I had to do something else. But the fighting against it put me in such a difficult mood, that I was not able to write either, let alone write something inspiring.
So the logical thing to do, would be to make a planning. But that has never really worked for me. I tried that all to often and I don't think I have ever been able to keep my own planning for more than 3,5 hours.
So finally, last week, it dawned to me. All the things that I had ever wanted (excluding the really new visions) have manifested or are in the proces of being manifested. And the only thing that has ever made them be slow in coming, has been my own resitance. And by experiencing this last period, I realised that I was resisting again. Even worse, I was resising realities that I had consciously chosen for. I do not have the excuse anymore that there are things in my life that I have created by hasard or unconsciously. No, not at all! I was resisting exactly that what I months (or years) before had so longed for and asked for.
Sure, I did not resist them now because I really did not want them anymore. I resisted them because of 'the new thing I thought I had to be doing at this moment'.
But that is always a floud premice! You cannot be doing anything else than the thing you are doing right now!
In my practice I learn people to make peace with where they are, but I have learned this lesson on a new level for myself again.
Everything in nature, in life, in the universe grows. The only thing we have to do is invision the things we want and allow them to manifest by not resisting.
And so in this last week I painted, and scrubbed, and carried bags filled with tiles, and vacuumed, ...
And it was so much fun! Working on I manifestation that I had so much longed for!
And even more fun because I new, giving in to this, would make my next vision manifest more easily.
And so it has. Because yesterday I was painting.
And this morning I felt inspired to write.
So I did.
Have a great day of enjoying your current manifestations and great fun in imagining your next greatest vision of yourself. The universe is so intelligent to give you exactely what you want at the right time, there is no reason to doubt that.
I do not plan anymore. I look. I feel. I do.
I wish you the same.
Big kiss,
Dietrich
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